Tuesday, 4 May 2010

Fireflash and the Freezer of Doom

He was destined for better things. He was FireFlash the Ice-Fighter, Super-Robot.

'Go on!' shouted the rowdy dolls from the ledge above. 'Show us yer fire-shooters!'

He could hear them giggling, then that ghastly bear who thought he knew everything joined in.

'Fire-shooters. Fire-shooters, I ask you,' scoffed the bear in a loud stage whisper. 'Yes, that's really what we all need in a child's bedroom. I bet they don't even work, you know.'

'Actually, they work perfectly,' retorted FireFlash through permanently gritted teeth. 'But there has to be an emergency first. I can only respond to emergency situations. I have to use my powers responsibly – it is in my programming.'

He shut his ears to the laughter that followed. He should not be with these… creatures. He should be in a bedroom that needed him, amongst grateful victims of almost-dreadful fates.


'Shut them in the fridge! Shut them in the fridge!'

'Ice them! Let's make them into ice cubes!'

Small hands stuffed the toys into the freezer compartment. No one really knew why, but it was good fun. The door shut; an ominous click.

'Oh, heavens,' said the bear, not so clever now.

The dolls huddled together, wide-eyed with fear. 'What are we going to do? We'll freeze in 'ere. I'm only wearing me purple sparkle mini skirt and matching heels.'

You think you're badly off?' cried the bear. 'Look at me! Those ruffians robbed me of my scarf and hat. I am a Christmas bear, designed for warmth and cuddliness. Oh! Look at my fur – spikes, spikes of ice!' He brushed ineffectually at his fur, let out an anguished sob and sank back dramatically against a floret of broccoli.

The dolls were about to scream, but from behind last summer's ice lollies came an unfamiliar trundling sound. A squat figure emerged, firing flame-jets from his mechanical hands.

'Stand back, ladies. Bear, you may need to hide your eyes. It'll get pretty hot in here, but I'll soon get us out.' Bags of frozen peas turned to mush; the lollies formed a sticky orange lake and water flooded from the freezer all over the kitchen floor.

The dolls swooned. The bear hid behind his paws. As the freezer lid was lifted by an angry-looking mother, everyone cheered. No one laughed at FireFlash the Ice-Fighter again.