Thursday, 16 June 2011

Lord of the Drawers

The climb had been long and difficult but at last he heaved himself over the edge and into uncharted territory. He was in a strange place, strewn with strange cloth objects.

Suddenly someone, or something pulled his legs out from under him and he lay, helpless, among the cloth objects.

‘Who goes there?’ boomed a voice close to his ear.

‘I am the Lord of the Sock Drawer. And who, pray, are you, villain?’

‘I am King of the Underpants. No one enters my drawer without asking first!’

The Lord of the Sock Drawer got up into a sitting position and rubbed his leg.

‘That hurt. What are all these things?’

They are the Underpants. Since time began my mission has been to guard their resting place.’

The Lord of the Sock Drawer looked about him. Since time began he had been guarding the Socks, but today, for a reason he could not explain, he had felt the urge to leave his drawer and explore.

‘Do you want to come with me?’ he asked the King of the Underpants.


So they left their drawers, which turned out to be housed in some sort of large wooden box, and for many days and nights travelled across the Land of Bedroom, the Land of Landing, until they came to a room with a slippery surface.

‘The Bathroom,’ whispered the King of Underpants to the Lord of the Sock Drawer. ‘We must be very careful. I have heard bad things about this place.’


Something, or someone, ran at them with a huge stick with bristles on one end, knocking them both flat on their backs.

‘Take that! And that! I am the Queen of the Bathroom Cabinet and nobody, I repeat, nobody enters my domain without a written request and confirmation!’

‘Oh Queen, we are the Lords - (‘and Kings’, said the King) of the Drawers, exploring uncharted territories.’

‘Ah. Well you’d better come in then.’

They had a very pleasant stay with the queen, but after a few days the Lord of the Sock Drawer started to worry about his socks, and the King of the Underpants found the bathroom to be a little draughty, so they bade the good queen farewell and journeyed, over days and hours, back to the bedroom.

‘Goodbye friend,’ said the King of the Underpants.

‘Goodbye,’ said the Lord of the Sock Drawer. ‘You are most welcome to visit.’
But he knew that he wouldn’t be venturing out of his sock drawer again, not for a long time.

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